Weigh-In #9

I was down 2.2 on their scale which brings me to 23.6 in total. My body fat keeps going down, as well, which is great!
I am so happy I lost. I know it could have been more had I not cheated at that party with wine and a piece of bread and a little dessert.
I want to lose ten more before the wedding(20 really but that isn't possible without lopping off a limb!)but will have to talk to the seamstress about alterations. If I can lose 3 a week for the next 3 weeks, that's fine, if she can wait until the last week for the alterations!
American Idol is on and I can't believe the bottom 3 are Casey, Michael and Siobhan! If they send that hottie, Casey home, I won't want to watch anymore! And Siobhan can sing like crazy-what a voice! Why don't they send that dweeby little boy home dammit!?

My Scale Weigh-In 4/28

I broke the 170 pound mark!!
I was 169.4 this morning on my scale. My official weigh-in is 5pm this evening so I'll let you know how that goes.
I had that vegetarian chili and some roasted kale for lunch today. I really like the chili, it's satisfying like regular food....but yeah, still makes me feel gassy and bloated afterwards.
I need to have my sweetheart take another picture of me soon so I can post it and you can compare.
I am dressed crappy today and and he is all stressed out writing a paper that's due tomorrow morning.
Tonight I am making tilapia-probably with lemon and garlic. Not sure what vegetables I'll make because the cupboard is pretty bare right now. We need to grocery shop but I doubt I can drag him away from his laptop today. I might run to ShopRite on my way home to get a few things...which will turn into getting everything...we all know how that works! You grab a hand-held basket because you are only grabbing a couple things and the next thing you know it's pulling your arm right out of the socket!

Okay, I got my fiance to take another picture. I know I am wearing yoga pants that leaving NOTHING at all to the imagination and yes, my butt and hips are that big even after loosing over 20 pounds! But I definitely look much better than I did. Look, I just have the ONE chin now! yay!

tuesday 4/27

Well, tomorrow is another weigh-in and I think I did better than last week. I really have been off my game lately and my willpower seems non-existent. This is the 9th week on this diet and I miss bread! I also miss fruit a lot!
It has been difficult sticking to it lately, I think I have had enough mentally and it may be because I am under a lot of stress with the wedding coming so soon. I always turned to food when stressed...or sad..or happy...or angry...or bored...argh!
I did say no to Girl Scout cookies today which was not easy-they were somoas, which are pretty delish, although too sweet...had they been thin mints there would really have been a problem! Who the hell can say no to thin mints?!? I am merely human and thin mints are like the nectar of the gods! So thank God , they were only somoas! Whew!
I went for my first fitting yesterday and the seamstress's words were, "Oh, why did you buy such a big dress, honey, this is a disaster!" Oops! She wants me back with a good supportive bra on Thursday, which I bought(36C-no longer a 38!) I told her I plan to lose more weight and maybe she could wait and do the other stuff like the bustle and the change to the neckline. She said she'd start the deconstruction part,which she said was completely taking the sides apart and that I shouldn't be disappointed if I lose some beading. I am not disappointed if I lose beading at my sides being I don't think anyone would notice and the loss is because of weight loss!
She said if she does start sewing she will make it too tight for me, so I can lose more. She is older and has been doing this all her life and is a feisty little Greek lady and I think she will do as she pleases! She showed me pictures of some things she has made and they were gorgeous! She's worked for Harper's Bazaar and has made dresses and gowns for the rich and famous over the years.
I know I keep talking about the wedding and not just about the Ideal Protein Diet, but the wedding is consuming me right now! So, sorry!

Sunday 4/25

Just a quick post today as I am very busy and very tired!
We went to a party last night and I had 3 glasses of wine and I am just not used to drinking lately so it kicked my butt! I also did not stick to the diet. It is really hard to diet when there are parties and things....and you don't have much willpower!
I was invited out tonight with a girlfriend but said no because I have to be good the other 7 days of the week!
Yesterday marked 5 weeks to the wedding and tomorrow morning I have my first meeting with the seamstress.
Things are really gearing up now!
By the way, the Ideal Protein vegetarian chili is pretty good and has a nice amount of spice to it. It can make you crampy and gassy, though, so be warned!(or at least warn your loved ones!)
Talk to you all soon!

blood-work update

I had blood-work in January and just had more done 2 weeks ago at six and a half weeks into my Ideal Protein diet.
My cholesterol went from 236 to 212. I tend to always be over 200 and am of half Italian descent and we Mediterraneans do tend to be high. My LDL went from 159 down to 139 so that is a nice change. My HDL is 52 now but I don't know what it was previously. 50-60 HDL is normal for a woman but over 60 is optimal.
My triglycerides went from 108 to 103 and my sugar went from 105 to 99 so is now in the normal range(still at the top of the normal range.) Anything under 150 is good, on the triglycerides. The nurse said the sugar level probably has to do with how my body turns things into sugar and again, I realize my body is working against me and I have to work very hard to override its natural chemistry!
My doctor's office faxed my test results over to the Wellness Center where I am doing the diet with a note telling them to call me and tell me she wants me to continue the diet because of the positive changes in my blood-work....now if I could get her to just pay for it that would be great! It isn't cheap but it's worth it because I am looking pretty fab! My energy levels are also good which I probably haven't mentioned. I am not a good sleeper but I used to drag through my day if I hadn't slept well, but I seem to be okay even if I have not had enough sleep.
I am going out to lunch today with an ex-coworker and we will go somewhere with a good salad bar!

Weigh-In #8...the bad weigh-in

So, I knew I did not have a good week. I was up .2 of a pound this time.
I cheated, I enjoyed it and I gained 3.2 ounces(yup, I did the math!)I can live with it but do not plan to do that again!
On to the good news portion of our program....I still lost fat and gained muscle!
The nurse practitioner, Ellen,(who is such a doll and is due to have her first baby the weekend of my wedding)did my measurements and I have lost more inches, as well. I already forget how many or I'd tell you! I am trying the Ideal Protein vegetarian chili this week so I will let you know how that is.
On the wedding front, we went to our venue last night and figured out how the tables will be situated and where exactly the ceremony will be so that was exciting. Our friend who is performing our ceremony met us there and took some pictures so she could send to her partner's daughter who is the photographer and helping me with decorations. Just standing there where the ceremony will be and looking at my sweetheart made me tear up! What the heck will I be like during the actual ceremony if I tear up just standing there!? Ack!
I googled some wedding vows yesterday and my eyes just brimmed with tears reading them-what a mush I am, it's ridiculous! Maybe I should make my fiance figure out our vows! He's getting off easy with the planning and decorating! I could get him to find a couple he likes and I'll pick a fave...hmm...we'll see how that goes!
Okay, back to the diet: Tonight I am making meatloaf, baby spinach, baked potato(only for the fiance!)I did put a little red onion in the meat loaf, though, maybe 1/3 of a medium sized one. So with the loaf being 4 portions I will be getting very little. I also put a half of a green bell pepper in it, along with the spices-garlic, salt and pepper, chili powder & crushed red pepper. The baby spinach I will saute very fast so it doesn't get mushy in a little olive oil and crushed red pepper...and yes, I put crushed red pepper in almost everything!
And on to a better week and being back in ketosis by Saturday!

April 19

This past Saturday marked 6 weeks to my wedding...aaahhhhhhhhhhh!
It's getting a bit scary and nerve-wracking. When I think about how fast it is all coming, I start to panic and feel like my heart is beating too fast. I am also having odd dreams. I am excited but nervous.
That being said, this has not been a good week for my diet. I felt renewed willpower, especially when my first follower told me her results. She is doing so well! I want to do that well, too!
Then it just sort of went out the window. My sweetheart keeps bringing goodies in the house and for six weeks I was able to say no thank you. What the heck was so different about this weekend?! Also, a dear friend sent baked goods to us, as well.
I have had this problem on other diets. Sometimes when I am doing really well, I will start sabotaging myself. I guess it's that self-fulfilling prophecy of thinking that I am fat and that my lot in life is to have to lose weight. Thinking I have had to do it before and will always have to diet. Do I somehow think I don't deserve to look fabulous and be beautiful?(because I do!)
These are things I have learned about and understand and know what is right inside my head-thank you Oprah-but somehow putting them into practice isn't so easy.
All I can do is try to be better the rest of the week until Wednesday weigh-in and whatever it says on that scale is just the result of this one bad week. Just this one, and nothing more.
Next week will be better and so will the weeks after that. And I am not this diet and I am not my weight and I am not my fears or my insecurities. I am all that and so much more...and soon to be all that and more in a smaller package!

Weigh-In #7

Well, I didn't hit the official 20 pound mark.....I hit the official 21.6 pound mark!!
That means I am losing 3 pounds a week, which is at the low end of the amount promised by Ideal Protein of 3-4 lbs. for women.
I am not fanatical as anyone who reads regularly knows so I guess 3 is good considering my imperfection! And with Weight Watchers I was only losing about .2-.4 of one pound per week, I can't complain about 3 pounds!
Soon(like by next week!) I will be under 170 pounds which I have not seen in over 3 years. The pants I am wearing today are so big, I can take them off without unzipping! I also had to toss a bra this morning. I put it on and when I raised my arms to put on a tank top, the bra jumped right up over my boobs! Well, that's not going to work, now is it?!
Next week, I want to have the nurse practitioner take my measurements again being I was at the 12 pound mark the last time we checked them.
I walked about 2 1/2 miles today, as well, which I don't do often enough. I don't seem to find the time which is nonsense because I do have time for it, if I try. I tend to make excuses. I have a cross-country ski machine which is uncomfortable to do right now because my neck has been bothering me for the last week and a half and the arm movements put stress on it.
I need to just get in the car and go to the park and walk but somehow I don't. I have to make it a habit. At least today it was my idea and I asked my fiance to come with me. If he said no, I was going anyway, which I never do alone. I have to get over not liking to walk alone! Once I try something a couple times I am ok, but have a hard time getting started.
Gotta go, I am missing Jeopardy! We love calling out the answers and we tend to know different things so it makes it fun. My sweetheart rocks the history and I am better with science and pop culture.

Unofficial 20 lb.Mark

TaDah!!!
As of this morning I am down 20.6 pounds on my scale! yay!
When I mentioned it yesterday I certainly didn't think I'd hit it today! Especially after that dinner party when I was not at my best at resisting temptation!
Some days I can be so strong and others I just right cave in. Well, this is why I was fat-crappy willpower! I would be good to a point and get close to a weight goal and then just fall right off the weight loss wagon! Never quite getting to a goal and never learning how to maintain my weight. Then I would, little by little, go back to my old ways and end up grazing through the fridge when bored, grazing my way right back up to a 16.
I plan to stick with Ideal Protein until I get to my goal and learn what to do to maintain. If I am not yet to my goal on my wedding day, I plan to eat whatever the hell I want at my wedding and also at the brunch the next morning. I will drink champagne, I will eat hors devours, I will eat cake, I may even eat a waffle and some bacon at the brunch! And I will enjoy it...and then get right back on the diet Sunday afternoon!
I just read back over what I wrote and realize I wrote "was" fat. I think I must be thinking thin thoughts and no longer think of myself as fat. That must be some sort of breakthrough!

7 weeks on Ideal Protein Diet

Hi all!
I posted a new picture today. I will try and post one every couple of weeks. I think the picture is sort of shrinking me a bit which is making me look a little dumpier than I do in person. My sweetheart is not great at taking pictures-he's so tall, it's hard to get the right angle. I made him sit in a chair finally b/c they were coming out with me looking all squashed and spread out! God forbid!
I think I am down over 19 pounds now. I cannot wait to hit the 20 pound mark! The capris I am wearing have not fit for 2 years,nor has the fitted tee-shirt.
I will admit I was not great at the dinner party on Saturday. I had 2 glasses of wine and a little dessert...I know..I know....I'm a big fat cheater!
I just can't be perfect all the time. I like to eat and drink and can't change my personality entirely. At least I am only doing it once in a while and not every day anymore.
I don't feel like I need to change 48 years of behaviors all at once. I used to have little cheats almost every day and had a glass or two of wine every night. Doing it once a week or once every couple of weeks is a good change in my mind. Before last weekend I went almost a month without wine. I don't plan to have any every weekend either, but if I really feel like a glass, I may have it. We aren't keeping any in the house so there is no temptation at home...other than all the goodies my fiance brings in which I manage to say no to.
...and yes, I know to stay in ketosis I can't cheat...I will pay for any cheats and am ok with that.
I'm off the the dentist for my 6month cleaning so bye for now!

Sat 4/10

I am still right at the 18 pound loss so am a little disappointed that since Wednesday weigh-in, I have stayed the same. My only cheat was 4 plain M&Ms. Damn, if 4 freaking M&Ms can make you not lose anything for 3 days, I am pissed off!
I have to be careful today because for dinner we are going over to a friend's house and she's a good cook. She said she would just make some beef on the grill and some vegetables, so hopefully there will be little in the way of temptation. I will bring her some Chardonnay. I am not much of a fan and it's what she drinks so that won't really tempt me! There will also be beer but I am not a big beer drinker so no worries there. Too filling for me usually. If I want to feel all full and bloated, I'd rather get that way from good food!
Hey, at least yesterday and today I wore two different pairs of jeans that have not fit in more than a year and a half! The ones I wore yesterday look good on me and I was so bummed when I couldn't wear them anymore because they were pretty new. They are actually a little big in the waist now! I kept having to hike them up...although I am not complaining!
I am also wearing more fitted shirts and not relying on empire waists and loose fitting things to hide my body. I actually had two men holler out to me the other day...something along the lines of-"oh, yeah, mama...mmmm mmm" and later that day a man made a kissy smooching noise at me! I was in a large town where that sort of thing can happen because there are a lot of people walking around and it was hot and I was wearing Bermuda length shorts and a tank top. I felt invisible for so long that even though they were being rude, I was flattered!...now if my fiance would do that, I would really be thrilled because he's the one who needs to think I am hot(I need to think so too because that makes you much hotter-you have to believe it to be true!) I still have a long way to go to hotness but I am well on my way. I will be back to MILF status(even though I have no kids) soon enough...or maybe Cougar status(though I am not looking to pounce on anyone but but my sweetheart!)

Official weigh-in 4/7

I was down another 2.4 pounds for a total of 18.2! Woohoo!
Having the off weekend didn't help but it was great to know I did still lose! Not as much as I would have being I have been averaging 3.3 so this brings it down to 3 per week average....which means I could lose another 21 by the wedding!
And 3 per week is way better than I was doing on Weight Watchers!
Not sure what to do about the alterations to my wedding dress! I will have to call the seamstress and bring the dress to her to get an idea of what she'll need to do and hopefully she will not need too much time to do the work and we can do it at the last minute! I don't want to buy a bra yet either and you need to have the right bra for your fittings.
Right now my 38C bras are on their tightest hook and still too big but my 36Cs are still a little small, although I haven't tried them all on yet, just two so far.
I am wondering if I will no longer be a C soon...which is fine! I was a small B until I was 35 so I am fine with getting smaller.
Hey, when you are a woman, gravity is not your friend, especially as you age. If you have mass...you have sag! Less mass = less sagging! I don't want to be a 36 long dammit! The smaller, the perkier!
I am now about 10 pounds away from what I weighed when I met my sweetheart in 2006....when I was still 10-15 pounds away from my goal! This time I am getting there and learning how to stay there!
I walked 2 miles today. It got into the upper 80s so I had enough at that point. My sweetheart wanted to go once more around the park but I told him being I am somewhat new to exercise, he can't expect me to run a marathon right away and that he should be patient with me and be more supportive. He really doesn't get it, though. He is naturally skinny, very active and just doesn't understand what those of us with food or weight issues are up against...bless his skinny little heart!

"my scale" weigh-in

I weighed myself this morning and was happily surprised to find that I have lost about 18 pounds in total.
I didn't think there would be a loss after the Easter weekend of traveling and not sticking to the plan. I was worried there might actually be a gain! I was super good last week up until we went away and really wasn't terrible while in Vermont, although Sunday evening was definitely off the program.
So, I apparently did something right even with the lapse on Sunday. Yay!
Last week, I took out my summer clothes and any pants I wore last summer, I could take off without unzipping. I haven't tried on all the tops but am guessing they will all be too big. Of course they are all pretty stretchy...the fat girl's wardrobe staple-cotton knit! I will still be able to wear some due to the stretchiness but will also be able to wear some of the smaller sizes that I was unable to wear last season...yes, I have multiple sizes in bins-10s, 12s, 14s, 16s...ack!
Extra Large and 16W and 16 have been vanquished from my closets and drawers and 2 big bags full went into the charity bins.
I still need to go through my career clothes and make another bag. Those I will probably put on Freecycle.org as a "lot" and give to someone who could use them.
If you aren't familiar with Freecycle.org sign up for it through Yahoo Groups! It is a great organization that is in every county(and in other countries, as well) where you can post items you no longer need that someone may be able to use(& they will email you and come and get them.) This helps to keep things out of the landfills and in use by someone who needs it. You can also post a "want" for something you are looking for that may be collecting dust and going to waste in someone's home, such as a book you want to read or a piece of exercise equipment that someone may be using as a clothes hanger or plant stand! I have gotten rid of all sorts of things via Freecycle and have also gotten great stuff, as well.
I have an ebay business where I sell vintage items and often get boxes & packing material from people and also give away items that didn't sell. So, sign up and do a little something to save our planet!

Monday-No weigh-in

The doctor's office was closed today so I will go on Wednesday.
While away, I didn't get to eat all my protein packs so have enough to last until Wednesday and I think that is a better day than Monday for weighing-in anyway!
I was pretty good while in Vermont, not perfect, but good. I ate a couple bites of things that weren't on the program and had 2 small glasses of wine.
I have a hard time sleeping in normal circumstances and really had trouble at my sister's as the bed is too small for us(it's a Full and we're 5'7" and 6'3")so after 2 somewhat sleepless nights, I was absolutely exhausted on the 5 hour ride home!
We went to a friend's for another Easter dinner when we got back and I admit I was not very good there at all! There wasn't much I was allowed to eat and I was starving at that point being we never got to eat lunch on the ride and between that and being so tired I just ate a little of everything.
So, that Wednesday weigh-in is a God-send actually! It'll take me until then to get back into ketosis!I am hungry today which is what happens when you don't follow the plan and your body isn't in ketosis.
I'll make a good dinner tonight-boneless chicken breast and broccoli. I think I will do chili-lime chicken-that's been a fave of mine lately. I love spicy food! I may also make some roasted kale.
I hope everyone had a great Easter(or whatever you celebrate) and stayed away from those yummy little Peeps!

we're off to VT

We are off to VT for the Easter weekend to see my family. As of this morning, I am down 17.5 pounds so I am hoping to not be too far from that when we get back....for the second Easter dinner on Sunday at a friend's here at home.
I have packed up my vitamins, sea salt and protein packs. Not sure what I will eat on the ride other than a protein drink because we drive straight through and only stop for bathroom breaks and at a favorite antique shop along the way. Salad or veggies don't lend themselves well to driving snacks, the way Twizzlers or pretzels used to!
We bought some beef jerky which my sweetheart loves, so I will probably have a little of that. Protein with almost no fat is not too bad and it's easy. Not as good as veggies and lettuce but easier to eat while in motion. It's not that long a ride (5-6 hours) so I will manage and pick up some salad or something when we get there to bring to my sister's. We need to pick up beer and whatever vegetable I will be making for tomorrow anyway when we arrive.
Happy Easter, happy Passover, happy weekend!